Living with Entropy

derailed!

I like things to be orderly, not orderly in the sense of “neat and clean,” but rather that of “organized,” “regular,” and “predictable.”  So I try to bring order to pretty much everything – I organize my thoughts into principles and philosophies; I organize my activities into schedules, routines and habits; and I organize my things with file folders and containers.  But of course it doesn’t last.  Things pretty much stay put, but my thoughts get challenged, and it seems my schedules and routines are constantly disrupted by events large and small.  You know what I mean – the vacuum cleaner breaks, the toilet leaks, or it rains on the day of the picnic.  Oftentimes this little stuff (and it is little stuff) gets to me and I get frustrated or irritated.  I crave simplicity, regularity, and “low maintenance” living.

It’s not that I’m lazy or don’t like a lot of “action.” I do.  I just want it to be my choice of action, on my schedule, rather than have to respond as needed to some new problem or issue.  One way to achieve this order is extreme simplicity or minimalism.  Less stuff & less activities = less things to go wrong.  Yet things still happen, and how much less do I really want?  I think my life is already pretty simple compared with most peoples’, and I’m not looking to be an ascetic.  Perhaps my problem is internal.  Maybe it’s my expectations.  Am I just too rigid, too set on being in control of events?  Am I fighting the second law of thermodynamics expecting to win?  Not completely, but too much perhaps.

Honestly, I’m a lot more relaxed than I used to be, but probably could benefit from learning to “go with the flow” a bit more.  My new old car is helping me to think and work through this issue.  New car problems are always developing.  Some I can fix and some require a pro, either way almost all of them come as unplanned, unexpected and unwanted intrusions into my schedule.  So far, I’ve been pretty good at seeing it as part of the adventure.  Can I carry that attitude into the rest of my life?  How about when reacting to life’s larger and more significant disruptive events?  I’m working on it.

Pete